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TODAY IS UNIVERSAL CHILDREN’S DAY

11/20/2010

May God bless the children of the world!

Good parents, good adult citizenry will result, with the help of good social and educational services, in happier children. Unfortunately, too many children are made to carry adult responsibilities and burdens. Child labour and abuse is a phantom both in some homes and businesses. This horrible image has now produced another reality i.e. children are now turning violently on themselves and each other. This is evident in the upsurge of school fights and wars. The symptoms portrayed before us suggest that the adult citizenry has failed to look after one of its most precious resources, our children.

A significant percentage of our adults seem so busy that our children are fast becoming invisible and their cries are more faint to the ear. How does a society correct this problem? How does it renew the ideology of the village or community? How does it reform or restructure the family, school, social services, etc., for our children’s sake?

Perhaps the answers to these questions are for us to slow down as a society. Also, there is need to shift its point of reference. So called third world societies have allowed the USA culture to inform them unfortunately many of the USA ways are less then becoming. They seemed to have abused to idea of the rights of the child and findings in psychology, to the extent that many of the very children are adversely affected. The USA is now attempting to correct their failing social approaches to raising children. For instance, many of their schools have put children back in uniforms as observed in Brooklyn.

Perhaps there are other societies our society can learn from and certainly draw from local experts as well to chart a way forward in saving our children. Perhaps the American way needs to be put on hold before it is too late. There is urgent need to restore the values and principles of peace, love and happiness for our children. Children should enjoy their precious years before being burdened with adult life. Children need to be allowed to take their time to grow up. They should always fool safe where they live and attend school. After all our children are God’s gift to humanity and its future wellbeing.

Universal Children’s Day therefore is an enormous opportunity to reflect on the ways each adult person can renew, priorities, approaches, involvement, provisions, etc. put forward for raising our children. It is a time to assess our job as adult, parent, teacher, neighbour, etc. to our children.

Happy Universal Children’s Day and May God Almighty Bless all our children.

Sankofa M F O Tuzinde 20th November 2010

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International Men’s Day Started In Trinidad and Tobago: Thank You Positive Male Role Models

11/18/2010

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Did you know that apart from some sparks to generate a special day for men in different places around the world that International Men’s Day (“IMD”) was first observed in The Republic of Trinidad and Tobago? Did you also know that it was started by a man? Not all men are bad! Many people can attest to the reality of life giving experiences with their fathers, husbands, brothers, boyfriends, and sons. Many of their stories are seldom told by the media that may be more equipped, by virtue of their purpose, to spreading these stories. IMD was first celebrated in 1999 by Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh of the University of the West Indies on his father’s birthday 19th of November. What an honour! His father must have been so life-giving. He must have been a “Real Man”. Dr.Teelucksingh felt that there was no day of observance for men. Father’s day did not capsulate all males. The good doctor felt that good male role models were not adequately celebrated in our societies[1]

Organizers of IMD hold as their objectives six key dimensions worth reflecting on. These objectives are to:

·        Promote positive male role models from the ordinary arenas

·        Celebrate men’s positive contributions to society

·        Focus on men’s health and wellbeing

·        Highlight discrimination against men

·        Improve gender relations and promote gender equality

·        And create a safer, better world[2]

These are indeed noble objectives which can help bring society’s men, women and children to accountability. Note society and not men, not that men are not accountable for their actions. One perspective is to ask questions. Do our societies have positive role models, celebrate their positive contributions, etc? The answer may baffle some people. Nevertheless, it is a resounding Yes! Then where have they all gone, where are they? Can we blame the media for negative or false portrayals of the males or positive male invisibility?

Let us be a bit slow to throw all the blame on the media. Let us be slow to generalise “Men” into those creatures from Mars. Let us make ourselves bring forth the experiences of the positive male role models. The single fathers, the men who refuses to conform to the social construction of male images contained in the realm of barbaric, cold, rough, lazy, coach potato, bully, domineering, hard (don’t you dare cry!), monsters from Mars.

It is time societies stop projecting on all men collective individuals negative experiences of their men thus, damming every single other man that comes along to the wrath of a woman who had a negative experience with a significant male. While we acknowledge the reality of a high percentage of negative attitude males out there let us make an effort to celebrate the perhaps even higher percentage of men who have their acts positively together, those who are trying to get their acts together, and those who know that they can do better to improve their attitudes because they recognise the pain they are putting their women and children through.

To the positive male role models out there impacting the lives in a positive way of so many people, families, and societies we salute you and encourage you to rally on. You are most certainly not a dying reality in our world.

Dr. Teelucksingh we thank you for bringing to our awareness the fact that there are men from earth still around. We hold collectively, that there are many excellent fathers, brothers, sons, husbands, uncles, male teachers, etc out there (not somewhere) but right here in our midst, if only we dare to open our eyes or recall the many positive experiences held by many, from significant males in their lives.

Happy and blessed observance of International Men’s Day
To every man, woman and child.

Michael Francis Grandison

Aka Sankofa M F O Tuzinde

Dover Delaware

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Men's_Day, [Copied 15th November 2010]
[2] http://internationalmensday.com/, [copied 15th November 2010]

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FOR COLORED GIRLS?

11/16/2010

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"For Colored Girls--" by Tyler Perry opened on the 5th November 2010 in America. Off the bat, one might think it is a show for black women, some might think it is for "black people", some might think it is for women. Some men may not consider it a show for them. Rest assured it is a show for everyone who has blood running through their veins. Whether yellow, black or white we are common in all aspects of life.

Human psycho-sexual and psycho-social realities, positive or negative, are universal i.e. they are not restricted to one group of people, class, ethnicity, geo-location, etc. A particular group may have their social realities highlighted more than others, thanks to a large extent by, the media and a particular group’s need to be loud and public with their internal psycho-social affairs. Others may hide their realities behind their social standings or stereotyping may dictate what we believe are associated with a particular group. The movie, “For Colored Girls” tells the story of each one of us. Let us focus here on a major portrayed element in the movie i.e. some profiles of "Men!" Note that the story did celebrate a simple man who knew how to respect and love unconditionally the woman he was with. Interestingly, that scene gets lost in the drama of the other scenes which reflected negative images of some males. However, truth be told there are many excellent men in our societies do a fantastic job in relationships. Indeed there are encouraged and honored.

Viewers may pay attention to the type of men out there but would the broken men see this movie as an opportunity to do some introspection on their profile? A significant amount of gender and feminist research and activism work is taking our world by storm. It is born out of one major reality i.e. That some men are not adding up, standing up, (no pun intended), to that call to be Man= Life giving unto the other, as done unto thy self for example father who acknowledge and supports his child and the mother. This even more noble when he may no longer be in relationship with her, yet his child witnesses only respect for from him. On the other hand, some women and girls have fallen victims to one negative male profile or another. This drove some women in this situation to seek their own wellbeing to fight what some have experienced, and can be referred to as a social cancer = non life giving male who reflect their brokenness, unsolved issues and pain onto another person, namely the significant female in their lives i.e. the man who is suspicious of the woman he is with and would beat her, embarrass her, spite her, etc. Often times some of these situation result in the murder of the women and sometimes the children, Too many of these relationships results in some woman feeling imprisoned by the high level of male social dysfunctionality. Often times the good life giving male in every sense of the word become invisible or risk being treated with mistrust.

At some point in a person's life they were in the nurturing zone of a man. Whether that nurturing was positive or negative it rubbed off into the lives of others. Women and men receive from their fathers, male teachers, uncles, and other men in general a sense of how men are. Their perceptions are governed by their experiences and in no way a stereotype for all men. What the movie invites us to do is to ask, "Which one of these men am I"? The women can ask, "Which of these women am I"? Then ask yourself, "Do I need to change the attitude or character being held up as "me"?" It is ok to be broken, have issues, experience pain, and so on. But it is not ok to do nothing about it. It is not ok to afflict someone else with it. It is important to note that the female character in the movie who got the good or life giving man had issues to confront in her life which she began to address. Hence resolving these issues are essential for wellbeing. It is also most essential for the wellbeing of relationship and family life. Perhaps, had she not confront her own issues the positive man who came into her life may have gone on noticed.

When one consider domestic violence in this light, what one realises is that some men are seriously hurting, men are carrying social burdens too heavy for any human person to carry much less men (so conditioned to be strong and tough on the outside but in reality soft on the inside, and truly kind in their inner disposition). Men like any human being also longs for companionship and community. However, these realities can become nightmarish if crucial elements are not right. Everyone should see this new movie or read the book written by Ntozake Shange.

Particularly all men whether good or bad! Go out and take in this movie. Ask women if they really want to live without men. The answer may more then likely be no. However, they will more than likely state that they want “broken men” to sort out their issues and the good men to take courage and keep their good efforts. Go on men take in the movie, revisit your reality and work on creating a new more life giving “you”! For the positive male role models do not give up there are many positive, strong beautiful women out there . Tomorrow is depending on all the positive role models out there What say you?

Sankofa M F O Tuzinde 17th November 2010

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Author

Sankofa M F O Tuzinde is an educator and motivational speaker/counselor. He has a passion for helping people improve their lives.
Currently, Sankofa is completing his Master's Degree in Gender and Development Studies at UWI St. Augustine. Sankofa holds a BA in Theology from UWI. He is passionate about helping women and girls trapped in domestic violence. Sankofa's research looks at the links between the use of exclusive language and domenstic violence. At present, Sankofa tutors the courses "Men and Masculinities" and Sex, Gender and Society at UWI.

TODAY IS UNIVERSAL CHILDREN’S DAY

International Men’s Day Started In Trinidad and Tobago: Thank You Positive Male Role Models

FOR COLORED GIRLS?

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