Sankofa Foundation, Republic of Trinidad and Tobago 2010
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Stacey Lannerthttp://www.healingsisters.org/stacey-lannert, (Copied online 9th August 2013

3/8/2016

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Courtship 

3/8/2016

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​‘Courtship’
 
Courtship
A time to look out for forecasts
abuse and unwanted hardship
sinking ships
before it sails
and partners
become black, blue and then pale
and wounds seems incurable
situations now terrible
why go on to marriage?
If you already seeing all the partner’s rage
Relationship ought to make one feel free
Instead, before the ring of mental and physical ownership
One feels already in an iron gage
Sadly, too many men and women never get to turn another page
Never get to a ripe old age
Never to share wisdom as a sage
No play on live played out
On this stage
Courtship
A time to study
With all the social help
Trust what you felt
In your mind and in your heart
When inner rage and anger and abuse they pelt
Long before for silver, gold and diamonds
Money was spent
To declare in a sham
The possessor and the possessed
Urgent need of social redress
Before boys and girls mothers and fathers
An entire society live in distress
Marriage a sacred thing
Not a public bling
To say she is mine
He is mine
Until ready to dispense of
Because it was never love
Never experienced live
Like turtle doves
For in a rushing search for un-received love
From the foundation of the home
The broken rush into a taste of hell
Often held in an evil spell
Abuse
Domestic violence
Could never be love
Abuse
Domestic violence
COULD
NEVER
BE
LOVE!
 
 Sankofa m f o m tuzinde
28th February 2016
Reflecting on the purpose of relationship courtships
 

​
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2016 wave

3/8/2016

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‘IN 2016 THE WAVE’
this still takes place in 2016 although females have made headway in education, professional work, holders of mega wealth (money and real estate). then why are they still controlled, abused and killed at a high rate? why the things they own are still possessed and controlled by the males in their lives? why do they still have to go to their homes and do house work, why are too many of them as 'wives' legal or common still raped? why is there a rise in rough hard core abusive women on men? why it appears that some feminist, womenist, genderist are tyrannical on some males thus going against what they had set out to address on behalf of women and girls?
one thing is clear. no work to address women and girls' social justice issues can be effectively done without equal consideration for work to address men and boys' social justice issues. women and men always link up for relationship, marriage, collaborative work, etc. therefore, it stands to reason great efforts ought to be spent to address men and boys' issues, the socialization of both males and females are imperative.
whether females are in the public sphere or not there is something in the psycho-social reality that still have females under threat by males regardless of how educated, materially secure, job status, etc. they are.
socialization with emphasis on social equality and equity is needed urgently. too many professional women will confess not much has changed with how they are treated and perceived and under servitude to males who are always socially held as superior.
when males can respect females’ communicative 'NO' whether verbally or in action and attitudinal response to males' request then we heading somewhere good in male female relations when females’ right to ‘freedom’ and the liberty to exercise choices within that freedom to the point that prudence is celebrated as a tenant of ‘freedom’. When language or human communications are inclusive of gender equality and equity. Then we would be seeing improvement.
Now males have a responsibility and must always be held accountable for their actions of any level of abuse against females but I want to urge female that the is a wisdom in them exercising prudence. Remember, females are significant nurturers of males and females. Females need to revisit the ways they reinforces gender roles and behaviours which contribute to both male and female young human beings perpetuating old male ideologies of the male supremacy codes otherwise referred to as the patriarchal system. In many ways females contribute to maintaining the patriarchal system even when it seems that for some of them the effort was to liberate females. Would they admit at some of them in their efforts do just what they are against and fighting for? More and more it is apparent that some women are inciting and perpetuating gender violence.
Part of the discourse must include female violence against females and female violence and oppression against males. A significant number of families are destroyed by women fighting wives for their husband. Did we not try to end that? i.e. men fighting men for their wives. There is a rise in women setting up men to be responsible for fathering a child. There are many men paying maintenance for children that are not theirs some of these men are even sitting in jail. The list can go on. Does this not contribute to creating bitter angry males. I know one male who was told as a youth do not get married as a result a hand full of children are fatherless or raised my men who are not their biological fathers.
When Sankofa Foundation for Victims of Domestic violence was formed it was to assist women who are in domestic violent situations. In my naïve, I did not think that some males were being abused in the domestic context. I have since extended the work of the foundation to counsel perpetrators of violence male and female. I also recognize that the number of males being abused by female is more real that we would want to imagine.
Last point I want to raise is the fact that some females who think they cannot win a fight with a male taunt and verbally abuse some males. What is the product of such attitude and response; More angry human beings, males and females, young and old?
Although there is still wage disparity one can see the material advancement of the women and the increase of access and education of females. A long way to go still however, women and girls are still being abused all round and even brutally killed, WHY?
Michael Francis Grandison
8th March 2016
Marking International Women’s Day
In memory of Jennifer Hunte-Madlum brutally murdered around the 18th May 2015
And Marcia Henville brutally murdered and burnt on 26th January 2015
Both top professional women. Both highly educated, both owners of real assets
Both representing the many women and girls abused and brutally killed in human history
Both represent the many more women and girls being abused in every manner of ways in domestic violence whose situation risk ending an a brutal death. 
Will these deaths and ongoing abuse of women and girls continue or be allowed to continue by the politics we play?
In recognition of all the NGOs and other interest groups who work selflessly to contribute towards the ending of domestic violence by way of research and praxis
In recognition of all the feminist, genderist, womenist, and men’s waves working toward gender equality, equity and justice.
Sankofa Foundation for Victims of Domestic Violence Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
www.sankofatuzinde.com
Success cannot be meaningful if all seeking change fight against one another but seek to collaborate for the common interest and good.


Woman's domestic abuse story goes viral
The woman, who claims to be the wife of the owner of a popular auto shop says she has been the victim of domestic violence for the last 12 years....
LOOPTT.COM
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    Author

    Sankofa M F O Tuzinde is an educator and motivational speaker/counselor.   He has a passion for helping people improve their lives. 
    Currently, Sankofa is completing his Master's Degree in Gender and Development Studies at UWI St. Augustine.   Sankofa holds a BA in Theology from UWI. He is passionate about helping women and girls trapped in domestic violence.  Sankofa's research looks at the links between the use of exclusive language and domenstic violence.  At present, Sankofa tutors the courses "Men and Masculinities" and Sex, Gender and Society at UWI.

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